Lent

"If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world on fire. Let the truth be your delight...proclaim it...but with a certain congeniality." - St. Catherine of Siena

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and it marked the beginning of the period of Lent on the Christian calendar. I, as many of you know, am a recovering Catholic. It is an ongoing process for me as I try to reconcile my deep adoration for God and his lessons, the traditions of the Roman Catholic church that are ingrained into my very DNA (i.e. knowing when to kneel or stand during mass, or when to cross myself.) with my real life - i.e. I am divorced and I am sure have also gone blatantly against tenants of the Catholic church. *gasp* My son's godfather is a homosexual! *double gasp* And for you who know what else will be sending me to hell, please feel free to contact me offline ;)

I find peace in my faith. But I also find chaos as I try to find the balance. It is not as easy for me as it is for some. I have thought about 'changing' religions. But I like 'my' God. I like the big guy with white hair, I like his son, Jesus. Mary has always been a sort of hero to me, and this Holy Spirit - well, one day I hope to be filled with it because it seems like a really great deal! It is not the rules or structure of the church that has been established over these years that holds me, but the lessons and, what I believe to be, the original purpose of religion - faith, hope, family, community, tradition - that makes my heart calm and my vision clear.

So Lent is upon us. This year I have decided that I will take upon me two old traditions I have not practiced in quite some time - eat no meat except fish on Friday, give something up for Lent. BB said he would join me in this. (I love being in a relationship with a shared faith...more than you know...but that is for a different post). I am going to try and give up cursing. For everytime I curse, I will put $.50 in a bucket and donate it to a charity - let's say St. Jude's Children's. I am going to let the kids in on my plan so that they can keep me honest. And maybe they will give something up as well. If they want to. We'll see.

By bringing these two traditions back into my life I am hoping to bring God back into my life a little more, keep him more at the forefront of my mind. Seek his peace and guidance as we leave winter behind and welcome spring and all of its colors. And yes, I meant that as a metaphor.

Now I am off to find fish recipes that I think the kids will eat :)