The Secret Life of Bees - the movie

"Never judge a book by its movie." - J.W. Eagan

The other night I had the rare treat of seeing a chick flick with A. She made a yummy dinner, Mexican Lasagana (insert drool here) and then we headed out for a 7:35pm showing of The Secret Life of Bees. The movie is based on the novel by Sue Monk Kidd, which I adored.

The movie, as predicted, did not live up to the beauty and splendor of the book. It was a nice story for a movie and the actresses all did a fine ensemble job (Queen Latifah, Alicia Keyes, Jennifer Hudson & Dakota Fanning), but the soul of the book, so perfectly delivered in the written word was lost in translation.

I highly recommend that you read this book, and bring a highlighter as some of the verse is quite wonderful and you may want to remember it - my highlighter got much use. As for the movie, wait for the rental.

QoTD

"There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self destruct. It never fails." - Richard Rybolt

I am a patient woman :)

QoTD

"Ask yourseld: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world." - Annie Lennox

Seven Layer Pie

L reminded me this weekend that I need to post this recipe for Seven Layer Pie. So here it is. Some of it is a little different than what we made. Changes made on recommendations and observations of our blind attempt. This, my friends, is what you get when you forget the limes at the check-out to make key lime pie. Well, it's what you get when you are in my kitchen looking through the cupboards for a back-up plan anyways.

Enjoy!

SEVEN LAYER PIE
- graham cracker crust (homemade or store bought)
- Jello Instant Chocolate Pudding (larger box)
- Milk per instructions on Jello box
- 1 cup toasted coconut plus a bit for topping
- 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips plus a bit for topping
- 1 cup Heath bar bits (you can smash bars or get the bits in the baking section) plus a bit for topping
- 1 cup chopped walnuts plus a bit for topping


1. Make the Jello according to box instructions for the pudding (not the pie method).
2. Take 1/3 cup each of the coconut, chocolate chips, Heath bits & walnuts - spread a layer on the bottom of the crust.
3. Take the Jello and spread half on top of the above layer.
4. Repeat a layer of #2
5. Spread the rest of the pudding on this middle layer.
6. On top of the final layer of pudding, spread the rest of the coconut, chocolate chips, Heath bits & walnuts
7. Now take the Cool Whip and top the pie off with a layer of Cool Whip
8. Garnish top of pie with sprinkling of extra bits - coconut, choc chips, Heath & walnuts
9. Refrigerate for at least two hours to set.

And yes - I had all of this in my pantry, except for the cool whip, but that was just a quick walk to the convenience store.

Happiness is...

"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'" - Frederick Collins


For me, happiness is being the latter person in the above quote.

New Cook Books

"A room without books is like a body without a soul." - Cicero (106BC - 43BC)

I should know better than to go to a bookstore when I am annoyed or upset. I impulse buy. Now...it could be worse. I can easily justify venting my frustrations on the purchase of pages of sweet delight. But it can get dangerous. Fortunately for me yesterday, my venting was taken out on the clearance rack of delicious cook books. I got cook books on curries, Thai dishes, cookies, baking in general and bread and an overall holy cow compilation of recipes. I spent a total of $27. Not bad for these delightful 4-color treasure chests. But I know why I bought them, I was quelching some anger and frustration and went to the 2 things that make me so very happy - books and cooking. What got me to that point? A 'conversation' with Pickle & Mo's father. I will leave it at that, for I have vented my frustration into the cook books and have moved on. After all, I cannot hold anger against the ignorant after all.

Looking forward to making some homemade scones and foccaccia now.

QoTD

"The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is 'look under foot'. You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think." - John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

Daily OM

I found the language of this especially inspiring and beautiful.

October 23, 2008
Traveling Companions
Birds fly in a V

As they swoop, drift, and glide, inscribing magnificent patterns across the sky, birds are serene displays of grace and beauty. Long a source of inspiration, birds can be messengers from the spirit realm, or a symbol of the human soul, as they cast off their earthly mooring and soar heavenward. An upturned wing, a graceful flutter, all so effortless and free... More magnificent still is the inspiring sight of birds migrating, progressing steadily across the horizon in a solid V formation that is a singular pattern too unique to be mere chance.

Pushing steadily forward, this aerodynamic V reduces air resistance for the whole flock. With wings moving in harmony, the feathered group continues its course across the sky, covering more ground together in community than as individuals. When the bird at the front gets tired, she will move to the rear of the formation where the wind drag is lowest, and a more rested bird can take her place.

By learning from the example of our winged guides, all of us can feel empowered to take on daring challenges as we chart adventurous courses. Feel the strength of others moving alongside you, as their presence lends power to your wings during this journey across the sky of life. When buffeted by unexpected gusts, we can choose to find refuge in the loving shelter of friends and family. We may even marvel as an otherwise difficult day passes by like a swift wind, as a kindred spirit charts a way for us through the clouds and rain ahead. If your wings begin to ache on your journey, look around for somebody else to fly at the front for a while. All of us move faster when we move together. Let your ego drop earthwards as we all soar ever higher.

Happiness is...

Getting a set of king size flannel sheets, normally $87.99, on sale for $36!

snuggly!

Happiness is...

Not shopping in the plus section anymore.

The Poisonwood Bible - review

"I wonder that religion can live or die on the strength of a faint, stirring breeze. The scent trail shifts, causing the predator to miss the pounce. One god draws in the breath of life and rises; another god expires." - The Poisonwood Bible, Adah, pg. 141

I just had the honor of finishing this book. From the first page I was enraptured with the language that was vivid and fluid. I started to read this book on a 6am flight to Austin, TX. So I read it a few pages at a time as my eyes took little rests. But it kept even a sleep deprived me engrossed. The way the author, Barbara Kingsolver, goes between the perspectives of the characters is well done. She gets in a loves rhythm where their individual stories create a rich tapestry. One of the things I found most interesting was her choice NOT to include the perspective of the father, whom is the antagonist of the story. This was a most wise decision. You hated him and also had sympathy for him - enough of both without hearing his side of the story. You got that from the stories of the daughters and the wife, all who loved him differently. We can all look at our own families in truth and see those differences in how siblings love their parents. I know that my sister and I have solidly differing perspectives on some of our upbringing.

Learning some history of the Congo and Africa was interesting as well. I want to go back and read more about it. African history, so significant to the world, yet so lacking in my education. (apparently)

I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone who loves a good solid story. I was even pleased with the ending, which often disappoints a reader when the rest of the book was so satisfying. This ending left me feeling complete and happy to leave the characters to their lives without me looking over their shoulders.

When Fu Lions Retire

"One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it." - Oogway from Kung Fu Panda


So....*sigh*....Radiant Dragon ended this past weekend. I am a little sad. It was a great 4 years - stress of staffing an event and all. It was a thrill to be a part of a LARP that player base received so warmly.

We were cleaning out costumes, supplies, props and dress settings after the event and I rescued our Fu Lion that stood guard over the gong that signaled a character's death and entrance to the Yama Kings for the 3 years of the campaign. He's nifty and now stands guard at my front door. Because he is in retirement he wants to have a little fun. So after a long discussion he and I decided to dress him up for Halloween. Ain't he cute? :)



Now for a name....hmmm....I will name him Shaoqiang which means strong and profound! And the little guy will be...Bo.

:)

QoTD

"Life is like getting dropped off in the middle of the woods, and then year by year, gradually walking home." - April Foiles

QoTD

"People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder', and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including in ourselves." - Salma Hayek

This quote of the day I think really speaks for itself today. As Mike Meyers would say ... "Talk amongst yourselves".

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

"An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow." ~Author Unknown


Today marks the 42nd anniversary of my mom & dad.

I adore my parents and as I have grown into adulthood facing adult challenges in relationships and family I have discovered so much more about my parents and the depths of their love for one another. They were never an overly affectionate couple with one another but there was always love. They never hid their kisses from my sister and I. Lord knows I heard them once too often. (Why do parents always have sex on nights when you cannot sleep - like Christmas Eve?) I have also learned about their trials as a couple. Yes, they are cranky with one another now that they are older and no kids are around - faults and bad habits are magnified. But underneath the banter there is love. I also learned that when I was much younger they almost split. WHAT?! I never knew. Back then divorce was much different; life was much different. I am so glad they worked it out. So are they, btw, I checked :) And when my father broke down into tears when we heard that my mom's tumors were benign, and when my mother ripped a nurse a new one when my father was not getting the care he deserved after his heart attack in the hospital - I saw the depths of their love and true devotion and I made a silent wish to find that for myself one day.

I could go on and on with the sappy sentiment, but why bore you. Simply put - Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad! your love gives me hope, strength and faith!

Online Dating

"You have to figure...if the world's fattest twins can find love, there's hope for all of us. Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us, understand us, and kiss our 3 heads and make it all better" - Carrie from 'Sex in the City'

Letterboxing

"Only the curious have something to find." - unknown

The kids and I have discovered a new fantastic hobby, Letterboxing. D mentioned it to me and I checked with another friend that has done it as well. She turned me onto the website and, well, we're hooked!

Here is the Wikipedia description of Letterboxing: Letterboxing is an outdoor hobby that combines elements of orienteering, art and puzzle solving. Letterboxers hide small, weatherproof boxes in publicly-accessible places (like parks) and distribute clues to finding the box in printed catalogs, on one of several web sites, or by word of mouth. Individual letterboxes usually contain a logbook and a rubber stamp. Finders make an imprint of the letterbox's stamp on their personal logbook, and leave an impression of their personal stamp on the letterbox's logbook — as proof of having found the box. Many letterboxers keep careful track of their "find count".

Friday we went and got our little journal and ink pad and compass (which I need to learn how to use). The kids were still not fully convinced of the fun of my scheme, but they were playing along. They are good to humor me.

The first one we went to was Gilson Rd. Cemetery in Nashua. I read the web sites and apparently this cemetery is suppose to be very haunted. Now, before you call DSS on me for trying to scare my kids, please note that I did not mention this to the kids. No words of haunted or ghosts ever came out from my lips. Not to sound like a quack, but I do believe in that stuff and have had a few of my own 'encounters'. I sensed that this place had something, but it did not scare me. It was 12 noon after all. Far from 'witching hour'. Pickle sensed something too for as time went on with our search she got less comfortable. Anyways...we'll discuss my daughter's and my uncanny psychic abilities some other time (haha)...we followed the directions and the only thing that threw us was reading the compass for 280 degrees. Huh? We read the rest of the instructions and tried to see if we could do without that small detail. Well, by Mo's amazing Scooby like skills he found the rock the box was hidden under and we were victorious!

The kids, and I, are hooked! Mo demanded we do another one right away. So off we went to Silver Mines Park in Nashua.

At the next park we met up with a family on their own quest. We chatted and they too had been to Gilson Rd. Cemetery. Apparently their compass went haywire spinning! I would now like to blame ghosts and not my inept compass abilities. They seem to be having a great time with it and told us of other places in Nashua and the area. The three of us cannot wait now to get our own stamp to leave behind as our mark and search out other places. What fun!

Here are a few pictures of our adventure today...and I will say it again...I love New England!

Here we find our first box at the cemetery. The kids liked how we had to stay low and try to keep our finding it a secret, in case others were coming to find it themselves.


The custom stamps people do are quite impressive!



Box #2!


Pickle is victorious with a Bunny stamp!


And my favorite part of our adventures today? Spending time with my kids in the outdoors.


We are planning on a big day of letterboxing in a couple of weeks. Can't wait! Have to get it in before the snow all comes. We'll figure out some new adventures for those days when they come.

Definition of Family, Meaning of Friend

" Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about." - Trey Parker & Matt Stone, South Park, Ike's Wee Wee, 1998

I am one lucky woman. I have an amazing immediate family, but I am blessed with an extended family that is still intact after my divorce. Yesterday I was thrilled to attend the 90th birthday party for my ex-husband's, step-father's mother - Nana Nellie. She is a spry Yankee who is sharp and witty and pretty good physically too for 90. It was fun to see pictures of her as a young woman - so glamorous in the 40's! And it was very nice to catch up with 'family' that I have not seen in several years.

Divorce not only effects the husband, wife and children of the divorce - it ripples to the relatives and friends that have built a community around that couple. I knew that with my actions and it saddened me knowing how many people would be effected. And I would be lying if I said it did not make me sad to think how I may lose some people that I had come to care about a great deal over the years. But, in my case, that family I can still call part of my own. It has been made very clear to me that, like the mafia, I cannot get out that easily. This warms my heart and also makes keeping them involved in the lives of my children (which is VERY important to me) that much easier.

At the party I visited with cousin-in laws and aunt-uncle-in laws and extended family from there. We oohed and aahed over how big the kids were getting and how old we all are. My former mother-in law kept introducing me as her daughter in law. We laughed that that title may get touchy if my ex re-marries. She said, nope I always will be. Cool! I will finally be 'Wife #1' - I joke...I joke....

Everyone is doing well, some trials and tribulations all around, but such is the ride of life. And we all gathered around Nellie for a family photo. I got pulled in too. It was a wonderful feeling too when, with true sincerity, family told me upon our farewells not to be a stranger. I promised I would not. (With all due respect to my ex of course. Sadly, he never established the same relations on my side.)

And one person in particular stands out amongst all of this. My 'sister in law', my friend, my college roommate - Ericka. I have a blood sister, but Ericka is my sister too. We have not seen each other for almost 6 months, though we talk several times a week. This weekend we got to spend some much needed time together with our kids together and alone. It was wonderful! I love her so very much. She keeps me on the straight and narrow and is a constant reminder of my 'fighting spirit'. If I was ever going to box, she would be in my corner psyching me up to kick someone's a$@. And, well, she actually does that all the time anyways. Here's a fun shot of us from today at the pumpkin picking hay ride (note: another GORGEOUS New England Autumn Sunday afternoon!)


And here's a shot of horses from the hay ride, Ben & Jerry. Sooo pretty! Even they are part of the family being owned by my father-in law's cousin! (it never ends I tell ya!) ;)



Family, some God has chosen for me, some I have chosen for myself, some have chosen me for them. Anyway you slice it - I and the kids are very blessed.

Happy 90th Nellie! I pray to God I am as spry as you are at that age and I look forward to your 100th!

Patience

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino (1923-1996)


It is hard to believe when you feel like your life is at its lowest and bleakest that it can ever get better. Yet somehow with time, strength, courage and love it always does. It just takes a little patience.

As patient as I am with some things in my life, I am not patient with shifts or change that I am working on. I figure I made the decision and my choices are working towards this new goal and purpose, well, karmically I should be rewarded ASAP! Mmm....not so much. This is a hard lesson to swallow. But in taking the time in 'the darkness' to refer back to the quote, we can understand things about ourselves that make the journey and the goal that much more rewarding.

I will not lie and I will put it out for the whole wide internet to know, I have struggled with clinical depression, battled against post-partum depression and made my way through a couple of life choices I would rather not have had happen. And in those darkest of times I discovered things that make me see stars now more than I ever have. It's important for us all to take every experience - good, bad or otherwise - and take it as an opportunity to know ourselves better, push our perceived limits and see our true depths. Like I said, it ain't easy and can downright suck. But taking those opportunities can only lead to truer things. And you never have to do it alone - even when you feel at your most alone. I guarantee there are friends and family around you building the ladder to the star you desperately seek right now! Let them. One day you will build one for them too.

Daily OM

This came through my Daily OM email today and I thought it timely and finely written. It makes it all sound so simple...maybe the secret is that it really is. Wouldn't THAT be a kick in the pants?!


October 9, 2008
Answering The Call
Taking Responsibility For Your Destiny

There are those of us who believe that our lives are predestined and that we should resign ourselves to our lots in life. Yet the truth is that it is up to each one of us to decide what that destiny will be. While each of us is born with a life purpose, it is up to us whether or not we will say yes to fulfilling it. And just like when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, and whether to turn right or left when we leave our home everyday, choosing to say yes to your destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality.

Whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, a pioneer, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is only the first step. While manifesting your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, there are then the actions that must be taken and the decisions to be made before your destiny can truly happen. When you take responsibility for fulfilling your destiny and begin acting with the intention of doing so, you not only take fate into your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate. Doorways inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make can be a creative act toward realizing your goals and dreams. You begin to follow your instincts and intuition, recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, and seize those golden moments. You also begin to recognize the decisions that may not serve this greater picture and can more easily push them aside.

Remembering that the decision to fulfill your destiny is always a choice can be empowering. Knowing you are fulfilling your destiny because you want to, rather than because you have to, can make a huge difference. When you are freed from obligation, obstacles in your way become challenges to be overcome, and the journey becomes an adventure rather than the obligatory steps you are being forced to take. Your destiny may be waiting for you, but whether or not you meet your destiny is up to you. Your fate is in your hands.

Dating

"Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish." - Ovid (43BC - 17AD)

Do you think Ovid would mind if I applied this wisdom to online dating? Well, for the sake of my world...let's!

I did it, I put up a profile on Match.com and Yahoo!. Let the games begin! I want to date, I want to meet new people. Trying different things to get myself out there and online is the easiest right now. Like catalogue shopping from the comfort of my own sofa. It's nerve racking though as there is always that layer of question and removed context with emails and profiles. Gah! I am looking at it as fun for now though. What do I have to lose really?

It is also a plentiful pool for humor. I am sure I will have many stories as my adventure unfolds.

Ay yay yay...what am I doing?! Any advice out there?

And for my readers who know me - feel free to matchmake!

Let the games begin!

QoTD

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." - Thich Nhat Hanh

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)


These two quotes resonated with me this morning. Though they may seem to address different mindsets, for me they are closely tied. I have found recently how liberating the power of forgiveness is and the joy that comes from the painstaking act. Let's face it, some forgiveness is painful as the power is within yourself and you may not get closure with the other person. Forgiveness of self is important and even more empowering in fact. Though I am far from perfect, my heart has forgiven not only myself, but others in need of my forgiveness recently. (they may not know it, but they needed it). I did this not for them but for someone much more important - me. And since I have made this decision in my heart I have found more joy and others have noticed a shift in me and see the joy in me as well. I especially see it in my relationship with my kids. Joy brings more joy - of which I hope I can continue to share with those in my life and myself.

The best forgiveness I have given myself as of late, in fact, was forgiving myself for not having folded two hampers of laundry last night. Oh so liberating! Tonight however is a different story...

Poem

After thinking of Robert Frost from my hike this Sunday, I went in search of more poems by the good man. I had forgotten how wonderfully New England he is. This one resonated with me this morning.

Nothing Gold Can Stay
by: Robert Frost

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Sunday in New England

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And it has made all the difference." - Robert Frost, A Road Not Taken

Yesterday I had the joy to take a good autumn hike with my friend, D. Weeks ago when I knew I would be without the kids this particular Sunday we set it up. I have been making a serious endeavor to get outside more and be more active and D has been helping me see this through and inspiring me with his own tales of outdoor adventure. So I figured not only is he good company, but he is experienced and I have less chance of getting lost or maimed or attacked by a serial killer.

We decided on the Ward Hill Reservation in Andover, MA. Originally I suggested Wachussett Mt. but D, in his sage foresight, thought a less mountain like hike would be better for the day. Though I have dropped about 2 sizes (booyah!) I am still far from 'in shape'. And D is getting old :P So Ward Hill it was! I got up, had some breakfast, watched an episode of Fringe on my DVR (Love this show btw! Early Xfiles feel), put on my new hiking boots and gear with much excitement. I want take this moment to booyah! again at my putting on my new hiking gear. My boots are great, my socks are comfy but I also came upon the sales rack at EMS and had new pants and a vest. What is so booyah! about this you ask? Well, though I have always liked the styles and clothes and EMS I have always been too big to fit into them. EMS does not have a 'plus size' rack for the ladies. But my loyal readers - this time things fit!!! It's nice to have such a positive shot in the arm to see that my new lifestyle choices are paying off. My blood pressure is lower too so all is good! And I looked cute, if I do say so myself. Mental note: go back to EMS and talk more with sales guy Brian...

Sorry, back to the hike...

Left the house, got some coffee at DDs where the drive-through guy told me how pretty I am. I was very flattered, but he is kind of creepy. But! I was gracious and will take that with a smile. D & I met at 9:30 in Lowell and made the rest of the way up in his truck. The skies were looking cloudy, but rain was not in the forecast so I had no fear.

D printed out a map of the trails. And thank God he did, let me tell you. Without that map we would have been lost several times double backing on trails and cursing the marking gods. Oh wait! We were doing that WITH the map! I had to laugh several times that D was there to make sure I was on trail and safe and...well, he was getting us lost. To his credit though, the map was a little confusing and the orange trail, though elusive, it does exist...eventually. Luckily he remembered his whistle/compass/thermometer in his pack and we were able to get ourselves on track. Note: it was about 70 degrees in D's fanny pack. The things you find out about your friend's bums when on a hike :P

The hike was spectacular with just enough strenuous parts to make us feel like we earned it. The views from the hills were nice of Boston and the county. In a week or two autumn will be in full bloom and it should be even prettier. I am hoping to take the kids back at that time. We hiked for about 4 hours and must have covered 3-5 miles. It felt great physically, emotionally, spiritually. The smells of the wood, the details of the habitat and the sounds of nature around us (minus the hum of I-93 in the background at the edges of the reservation) were inspiring. My quote of the day is inspired by a fork in the path we came upon early. D and I both immediately thought of Robert Frost. Humorously enough, that was fork #2 that we chose the wrong path...but we got back on track in good course. And as always it was good to spend time with D. We laugh easily together and have good conversations about deep life issues like choices and paths - to the mundane and ribald like proper fart etiquette on hike or climb. Good times!

Here are some pictures of the hike and what we encountered.

Some beaver work! You could see little teeth marks!

There were a lot of mushrooms long the path. Maybe from last week's rains? But this bunch stood out! The orange is vibrant in the photo, but it was almost dayglo in real life and the shapes and curves were near perfect. Amazing what nature does all on its own.

I always look up at the trees to see the sky through their canopy. And it never disappoints.

Another choice. But here there is at least a sign with some directions! Did you know men do not like to read direction in the woods either?


The walk bridge across the swamp. It was mucky! But we did catch a couple of frogs poking their heads up through the slime. Also found a beaver dam and lodge nearby.



I love the reflection in the water here. This was the pond/lake waiting for us at the end of the bog walkway. Just imagine it in a few weeks with golds and reds making the water look as if it is on fire! I may have to go back just to get a picture to re-post.


Some hot babe we encountered on the trails. She was clever too - she liked to read signs and maps along the way.

At one of the summits is a landmark - Elephant Rock on Boston Hill. Now...I see an elephant lying on his side, his trunk outstretched to the right. D insists he sees no elephant. What do you think? We took a little break here and an elderly couple with two gorgeous golden retrievers passed us by. The couple were wearing matching blue baseball hats. They were so cute. One day I hope to have someone to wear corny blue matching hats with when I have white hair.

At the second summit, Holt Hill, there is a pretty Solstice Circle and you can see the Boston skyline. We were greeted by two young men jamming on their guitars. It was a nice serenade for our lunch.

The music attracted a deer to the circle. It felt a bit magical.


Some of the trails are very close to residences and cuts through what appears to be a functioning farm with some hay fields. This was the classic New England scene that greeted us as we ended our day. It's shots like this that remind me, I could never leave New England for very long.

So what does a girl do with the rest of her Sunday after some good time with a friend in the bounty of Mother Nature? Stop at the mall, watch the Pats win, flip between the Sox game and a chick flick (Must Love Dogs) and make an apple pie of course! I should have sorted all the clothes from summer to winter between I and the kids that are piling up in my bedroom - but I chose the path that led to my couch, and today, it has made all the difference.

Happy Birthday

"Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -Elizabeth Stone

Today is my son Mo's 8th birthday! On this day at 1:04am EST my beautiful baby boy entered into this world after about 2 1/2 hours of non-epidural relieving pushing. (Bless his little soul and big head!) My life has been transformed in oh so many ways since that day and one day, when he can understand the magnitude, I will thank him.

Mo and I had a nice hour to ourselves this morning while Pickle was at gymnastics with her dad. connecting with him one-to-one is very important to me and he relishes the time as well. Then the grandparents arrived and off to baseball we went. Them from there home for quick lunch and off to his Olympic themed party. He had a great time running around the field playing games with his friends. His dad did a nice job on the 5 ring cake (literally - there were 5 cakes joined as the olympic rings) and organizing the games. Mo also made out like a bandit with a plethora of Star Wars toys to keep him busy for quite some time. All the kids seemed to have fun. I did too. It was nice to have my family around me.

Then this evening I celebrated my sister's 40th birthday, which is next week - dinner with her, her husband and my folks. As much as some things about my sister really bug me (like all siblings I am sure) I love her and am so very proud of her. It was a nice meal and we laughed. I love laughing with my family.

It was one of those days when you look around and thank God for your blessings and all the other things that make life muddled melt away. I miss the kids tonight, especially as it is Mo's birthday as they are with their father. But I will get by with some time in front of my lover...the DVR.

Happy Birthday Mo & Missy! Love you!

Election of our lives

"I'm not going to quit. Why should I quit? This country is worth fighting for." - Hillary Rodham Clinton, April 7, 2008

I won't deny I was a huge Hillary supporter. I thought she would be the one to fix this country. Needless to say, she is not a choice. So I have been considering my two options very carefully - Barack Obama & John McCain. 8 years ago I would have loved McCain. So I wanted to see what he had to show me. Then he chose Palin as a running mate. Hmmm....Maybe I am missing something? Well, the VP debate was not one I was going to miss - for my own education but also for the high entertainment value.

Palin represented herself well, but the fact that she admitted that she may not answer the questions the moderator or audience wanted her to I knew - this woman cannot be a heartbeat away from the presidency. Good try on her part trying to make herself look like me - you know, middle class, same challenges, same beliefs, "six pack joe and the hockey moms". I do not relate to either of those. What about the thousands of mid-thirties women like me? Working in a good job, kids, married or divorced, raised with the belief that my generation would break the glass ceiling for women and change this world forever so do not settle, pretty well educated, strong and independent. As much as she wants to relate to me - there is a gap that I admittedly cannot eloquently or intellectually describe. It is a visceral emotional response. But I trust my instincts. This is not the woman for our country - hence, McCain is not the man.

Biden's experience impresses me. His admittance to not always making the right decision, but he has the willingness to change as circumstances dictate. He was good at throwing back at Palin his roots and his challenge. Take that sexism - men have feelings and struggles too!! He had pretty straight answers, defined his role, hit the remark on Cheney on the head and has my vote.

God bless this nation as we endeavor to be a better people and citizen of the world.

Timing may just be everything

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love." - Mother Teresa

Dream a Little Dream

"They say dreams are the windows of the soul -- take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts." - Henry Bromel, Northern Exposure, The Big Kiss, 1991

If this is indeed true, I think I need some serious professional help. My dreams as of late have been all over the board and real feeling and leaving me tired when I wake up after a solid 8 hours. Last night was no different. You would have thought that after a fantastic massage from J that I would drift off into la-la land peaceful and full of dreamy bliss. Well, me too! Perhaps if I stayed on the table and did not have to get in the car and drive home 40 minutes it would have stuck.

Last night's dream had me at a seaside camp area with some friends and people I did not know. The kids were not with me, and thank god, as Hurricane Ike came through and I was suddenly thrown off the boat my a wave (not sure how I got on the boat, but dreams being what they are I appeared on a boat). Waves upon waves kept slamming down on me until I found a stray kayak of sorts and held onto that and floated to safety, which was a church hall that was holding a rummage sale. Once I found my way back to my friends I panicked, not knowing where the kids were. At this point I found myself sitting straight up in bed, somewhat awake, the clock reading 4:18am. I laid back down and in my dream was assured that they were safe at their Nana's by their Aunt E who was suddenly in the dream. And so this was just part of my night...

A few nights ago I had a dream that I was trapped in a haunted house. Not a Halloween set like haunted house for amusement - a 'real' one. These dreams terrify me and stay with me for days.

*shiver* I think I have to start drinking some warm milk before bedtime. Or stop watching my DVR'ed shows like Heroes and Fringe before bed because obviously my imagination is in high gear.

What I Did For Love

"Gone, Love is never gone.
As we travel on, Love's what we'll remember." - 'What I Did For Love', A Chorus Line

Last night I had the pleasure of attending A Chorus Line at the Boston Opera House with A. The show was very well done and I enjoyed myself tremendously. As always, it was a fantastic girls night out with A. She really is the best date ever.

We were able to get into Boston a little early to enjoy some dessert at Felt. Felt would not be my first choice for enjoying dessert when in Boston, Finale would be (oh my!). But Felt was convenient and they had chocolate lava cake and fried cheesecake on the menu - neither particularly memorable, but I was there for the company which made it delicious!

After enjoying sweets we walked next door to the Opera House. The Opera House is a beautiful theatre and they did a masterful job in rejuvenating it to match its original splendor. It is big, but more intimate than the Wang. Not a big crowd on a Tuesday night so our seats were moved closer to row C from our original I in the mezzanine. For a show with a lot of choreography I enjoy being a little above the stage to see the formations. And this did not disappoint.

None of the individual performances stood out to me. A good ensemble cast. Morales was my favorite, always has been my favorite character and I was happy that the understudy delivered. Cassie I found to be the weakest, which disappointed me a little. With her solo Music & the Mirror when she is convincing the director, her ex, to put her back in the chorus line, I did not see any fire. All I saw was the reason why she did not make it in Hollywood when she tried. But...it did not ruin it for me.

All the songs were like old friends. I cannot remember what I ate during any given day, but the lyrics and emotions of these songs came to my mind so readily, as if they have been waiting there for the chance to visit again for years.

My favorite part, that still moves me, was the use of the back wall of mirrors. If you focus, as A did, on the performers you do not notice it. But if you direct your attention to the back wall - it is a different show and a perspective, I think, the director captured perfectly. As I watched some of the scenes from this perspective I felt a butterfly within me fluttering. I could feel what those actors were possible feeling being on the stage, looking out over the audience, the shared energy, the give and take and the thrill to be blessed with giving a performance. I miss it. I miss it a lot. And I hope to God one day I can experience it again. Theatre is a part of my soul that I buried a little and every once in a while I am reminded of what a big part of what makes me so me it is. It feels like a past life long buried, as none of my present day friends have ever seen me on stage or involved in a production. The memory lives with just me. Gosh, the things they might learn - like how I tend to sleep walk a lot during dress rehearsal weeks. oy! Surprisingly, all of these renewed memories and feelings do not make me sad. On the contrary, I feel a bit revived remembering more of who I am.

So last night's performance was grand and I truly enjoyed it. As stated, no blow out performances but a solid ensemble production that reminds us all of what and why we do things for love.

Bravo!

Now...come November 23rd - Spamelot!