Home Sweet Home

"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you" - Christian Morganstern


We had a lovely Christmas Eve & Day. I got everything wrapped, I got everything baked and cooked and we had a wonderful day. It feels a bit of a blur now, as it does every year. But I have the vivid memory of smiles and squeals of holiday glee from Mo & Pickle to remind me that yes Virginia, there is indeed a Santa Claus. I did not want for anything material this year. I honestly did not want a thing. What I asked my Santa for was peace - peace of spirit, peace of mind, peace for my heart. And I feel that peace coming just around the bend. But my loved ones were kind enough to grace me with very thoughtful gifts that warmed my heart indeed. I thank them for those, thank you!

Saturday the kids and I went home to my hometown to visit with my parents for a few days. It was wonderful, as always. Not only did we get nice grandparent time (which also includes my mothers letting me sleep as long as I want by occupying the kids) but I also got to visit with lifelong family friends and two school chums. If life permitted I would move back to Monroe to raise the kids. No where else on earth do I feel so at home and at peace. I feel strong and sure and grounded. I hope that 2009 brings me closer to having that in my life up here in the north. And I ran into some people at the Big Y, as I am known to do when I look my worst.

I have been away from home for about 15 years now, have created my own home for my children, but they are always homes with a small 'h'. Home is in Monroe.

Not a creature was stirring...not even a mouse...

"Best of all, Christmas means a spirit of love, a time when the love of God and the love of our fellow men should prevail over all hatred and bitterness, a time when our thoughts and deeds and the spirit of our lives manifest the presence of God." ~Unknown but apparently someone who knows their stuff


Getting ready today for tomorrow, the day that is known as Christmas. I am still baking for A's party this evening. I have to wrap 95% of my presents and clean...yeah, clean. Trying to keep the light of the holiday spirit in my head and my heart, but I find that it is hard and not very easy, it takes effort. Noticeable effort for me. I accept it though and work through it. There's a few reasons, mental, emotional and physiological. And I know that so I can work through it. I am really good at hiding it too from those around me - though my mother always knows. Every year gets a little better though and this year I am so looking forward to seeing the kids faces light up in the morning when they open their presents and to welcome my family and my friend Erik into my home. The people who mean the most to me. Ken, the other person who means the world to me will be here Friday morning. Next year I imagine our families being a little more combined, but this year we will be apart for the day. I will honestly miss him. He better call! (hint!) Ham, homemade mac & cheese, green beans and some chicken curry (for my brother in law) are on the menu with some yummy cheeses and shrimp cocktail. And, yes, you guessed it...cookies! I hope you all enjoy your cookies too!

And with almost 2 feet of snow outside it is a white Christmas indeed!

May the magic of the season bless you and yours with love, joy & peace. And of course...cookies!

Merry Christmas!

Let it snow...let it snow...

"I frequently tramped eight or ten miles through the deepest snow to keep an appointment with a beech-tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines." - Henry David Thoreau

We're expecting some snow later today. They are saying 8-12 inches where I live in Southern New Hampshire. Kids have early release from school just to be on the safe side. And more snow for Sunday.

The house is a disaster area of stuff - holiday stuff, kid stuff, my stuff, school stuff...stuff! There needs some purging this weekend for sure.

Went to BB's holiday party last night with the kids to the Museum of Science. It was pretty neat. A little overwhelming with the kids there but it was nice. also nice to meet some of BB's co-workers. We will have to go back to BB's office one day so he can show the kids the labs and all the scientists. Hey, not every day you get a personal tour or the place where they de-constructed the human genome and now are working on cures for cancer and other major illnesses/diseases. That's cool stuff my friends!

The coming of a snow storm always gives the air a feeling of anticipation. You can feel the excitement from kids to adults. I am hoping it is the snow man kind of snow.

Happiness is...

The all ABBA all the time station on Sirius radio. And coming downstairs to find your neighbor shoveling your walk and driveway because he knows you have to go to work.

Happiness is...

Unwrapping candy canes with Mo in the kitchen for making white chocolate peppermint bark, singing Let it Snow and hearing Pickle sing it with me while she is up in the tub.

Joyous Yule

"Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles." ~Author Unknown

Green

"O! beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on" - William Shakespeare


The other night, for the first time I had a full blown jealousy 'thing'. It was an uncomfortable place for me. I typically do not consider myself to be a jealous person, but I have found, yes I am. In some ways this is a healthy thing for me. For some who know me, they understand. But I did not like this feeling. Now the occasion that brought up this demon was warranted with my attention, but I did not expect such a strong reaction. Usually I have been able to keep these things under wraps, but I let it out this time. I had to - or it would have consumed me and a pattern would have begun again. I am glad I did in the end as it opened discourse and led to better and deeper things, but still...the better and deeper could have come without the green. But such is life. Such are relationships - they are worthwhile work.

I now also understand the color choice of green when describing this most toxic of emotions. It made me want to gag. It gave me a headache and it blurred my vision making that which I was seeing and trying to see a rancid hue. I prefer purples & pinks myself and will be trying to stay with those shades.

"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera dive." - Josh Groban

In the shower am a big breasted black woman who can sing the blues and make a man cry with the swivel of my hips. Amen sistah! Truly I am....

Been a bit quiet on my blog, as you may or may not have noticed. No reason really. Busy I guess. The holiday season has me shuffling along. The kids have me hopping. Work has me busy. BB keeps me entertained. Just in a state of life where it is all happening and not having time to write about it. I am not complaining though. Life is good. Muy bien in fact. Now if I can get my holiday tooshie in gear it will be excellent. I should be able to accomplish that organization over the weekend though amidst a holiday party and such. Fa la la la la...la la la la...

In the meantime, I am off to sing in the shower....

When the power of the web is used for good

This is a very clever lip sync of a song done by an a cappella comedy troupe out of Provo, UT called Moosebutter. It's a great tribute to the musical genius of John Williams.

QoTD

“Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead.” - Joss Whedon

Who took my money?

"When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. " - Oscar Wilde

Part of the Clan

"And you’re worried, not because you’re headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won’t approve of you, correct?" - Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 15, p.320

Yep, it happened. I picked up Twilight and I read it in a day, and not just because it was an easy read. I became a 15 year old girl again, hungry for another second of Edward Cullen on the page. Holy ga-moley! So of course, then I HAD to see the movie. insert drool here. Thank god I know that the actor who plays Edward is legal. hubba to the hubba!

I have lots more to say about this phenomenon - around how the story made me giddy, how it borders on teen age erotica, how it is books like this that possibly set up so many young girls for dashed dreams as they enter into real relationships and how these things need to be tempered for the hopeless romantics and passion junkies (like myself). But all of that aside, I am enjoying the stories (I am on book 2 now, New Moon) with full abandon.

After this I will need something hardcore non-fiction to plant my feet with again.