"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you" - Christian Morganstern
We had a lovely Christmas Eve & Day. I got everything wrapped, I got everything baked and cooked and we had a wonderful day. It feels a bit of a blur now, as it does every year. But I have the vivid memory of smiles and squeals of holiday glee from Mo & Pickle to remind me that yes Virginia, there is indeed a Santa Claus. I did not want for anything material this year. I honestly did not want a thing. What I asked my Santa for was peace - peace of spirit, peace of mind, peace for my heart. And I feel that peace coming just around the bend. But my loved ones were kind enough to grace me with very thoughtful gifts that warmed my heart indeed. I thank them for those, thank you!
Saturday the kids and I went home to my hometown to visit with my parents for a few days. It was wonderful, as always. Not only did we get nice grandparent time (which also includes my mothers letting me sleep as long as I want by occupying the kids) but I also got to visit with lifelong family friends and two school chums. If life permitted I would move back to Monroe to raise the kids. No where else on earth do I feel so at home and at peace. I feel strong and sure and grounded. I hope that 2009 brings me closer to having that in my life up here in the north. And I ran into some people at the Big Y, as I am known to do when I look my worst.
I have been away from home for about 15 years now, have created my own home for my children, but they are always homes with a small 'h'. Home is in Monroe.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Not a creature was stirring...not even a mouse...
"Best of all, Christmas means a spirit of love, a time when the love of God and the love of our fellow men should prevail over all hatred and bitterness, a time when our thoughts and deeds and the spirit of our lives manifest the presence of God." ~Unknown but apparently someone who knows their stuff
Getting ready today for tomorrow, the day that is known as Christmas. I am still baking for A's party this evening. I have to wrap 95% of my presents and clean...yeah, clean. Trying to keep the light of the holiday spirit in my head and my heart, but I find that it is hard and not very easy, it takes effort. Noticeable effort for me. I accept it though and work through it. There's a few reasons, mental, emotional and physiological. And I know that so I can work through it. I am really good at hiding it too from those around me - though my mother always knows. Every year gets a little better though and this year I am so looking forward to seeing the kids faces light up in the morning when they open their presents and to welcome my family and my friend Erik into my home. The people who mean the most to me. Ken, the other person who means the world to me will be here Friday morning. Next year I imagine our families being a little more combined, but this year we will be apart for the day. I will honestly miss him. He better call! (hint!) Ham, homemade mac & cheese, green beans and some chicken curry (for my brother in law) are on the menu with some yummy cheeses and shrimp cocktail. And, yes, you guessed it...cookies! I hope you all enjoy your cookies too!
And with almost 2 feet of snow outside it is a white Christmas indeed!
May the magic of the season bless you and yours with love, joy & peace. And of course...cookies!
Merry Christmas!
Getting ready today for tomorrow, the day that is known as Christmas. I am still baking for A's party this evening. I have to wrap 95% of my presents and clean...yeah, clean. Trying to keep the light of the holiday spirit in my head and my heart, but I find that it is hard and not very easy, it takes effort. Noticeable effort for me. I accept it though and work through it. There's a few reasons, mental, emotional and physiological. And I know that so I can work through it. I am really good at hiding it too from those around me - though my mother always knows. Every year gets a little better though and this year I am so looking forward to seeing the kids faces light up in the morning when they open their presents and to welcome my family and my friend Erik into my home. The people who mean the most to me. Ken, the other person who means the world to me will be here Friday morning. Next year I imagine our families being a little more combined, but this year we will be apart for the day. I will honestly miss him. He better call! (hint!) Ham, homemade mac & cheese, green beans and some chicken curry (for my brother in law) are on the menu with some yummy cheeses and shrimp cocktail. And, yes, you guessed it...cookies! I hope you all enjoy your cookies too!
And with almost 2 feet of snow outside it is a white Christmas indeed!
May the magic of the season bless you and yours with love, joy & peace. And of course...cookies!
Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Let it snow...let it snow...
"I frequently tramped eight or ten miles through the deepest snow to keep an appointment with a beech-tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines." - Henry David Thoreau
We're expecting some snow later today. They are saying 8-12 inches where I live in Southern New Hampshire. Kids have early release from school just to be on the safe side. And more snow for Sunday.
The house is a disaster area of stuff - holiday stuff, kid stuff, my stuff, school stuff...stuff! There needs some purging this weekend for sure.
Went to BB's holiday party last night with the kids to the Museum of Science. It was pretty neat. A little overwhelming with the kids there but it was nice. also nice to meet some of BB's co-workers. We will have to go back to BB's office one day so he can show the kids the labs and all the scientists. Hey, not every day you get a personal tour or the place where they de-constructed the human genome and now are working on cures for cancer and other major illnesses/diseases. That's cool stuff my friends!
The coming of a snow storm always gives the air a feeling of anticipation. You can feel the excitement from kids to adults. I am hoping it is the snow man kind of snow.
We're expecting some snow later today. They are saying 8-12 inches where I live in Southern New Hampshire. Kids have early release from school just to be on the safe side. And more snow for Sunday.
The house is a disaster area of stuff - holiday stuff, kid stuff, my stuff, school stuff...stuff! There needs some purging this weekend for sure.
Went to BB's holiday party last night with the kids to the Museum of Science. It was pretty neat. A little overwhelming with the kids there but it was nice. also nice to meet some of BB's co-workers. We will have to go back to BB's office one day so he can show the kids the labs and all the scientists. Hey, not every day you get a personal tour or the place where they de-constructed the human genome and now are working on cures for cancer and other major illnesses/diseases. That's cool stuff my friends!
The coming of a snow storm always gives the air a feeling of anticipation. You can feel the excitement from kids to adults. I am hoping it is the snow man kind of snow.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Happiness is...
The all ABBA all the time station on Sirius radio. And coming downstairs to find your neighbor shoveling your walk and driveway because he knows you have to go to work.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Happiness is...
Unwrapping candy canes with Mo in the kitchen for making white chocolate peppermint bark, singing Let it Snow and hearing Pickle sing it with me while she is up in the tub.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Green
"O! beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on" - William Shakespeare
The other night, for the first time I had a full blown jealousy 'thing'. It was an uncomfortable place for me. I typically do not consider myself to be a jealous person, but I have found, yes I am. In some ways this is a healthy thing for me. For some who know me, they understand. But I did not like this feeling. Now the occasion that brought up this demon was warranted with my attention, but I did not expect such a strong reaction. Usually I have been able to keep these things under wraps, but I let it out this time. I had to - or it would have consumed me and a pattern would have begun again. I am glad I did in the end as it opened discourse and led to better and deeper things, but still...the better and deeper could have come without the green. But such is life. Such are relationships - they are worthwhile work.
I now also understand the color choice of green when describing this most toxic of emotions. It made me want to gag. It gave me a headache and it blurred my vision making that which I was seeing and trying to see a rancid hue. I prefer purples & pinks myself and will be trying to stay with those shades.
The other night, for the first time I had a full blown jealousy 'thing'. It was an uncomfortable place for me. I typically do not consider myself to be a jealous person, but I have found, yes I am. In some ways this is a healthy thing for me. For some who know me, they understand. But I did not like this feeling. Now the occasion that brought up this demon was warranted with my attention, but I did not expect such a strong reaction. Usually I have been able to keep these things under wraps, but I let it out this time. I had to - or it would have consumed me and a pattern would have begun again. I am glad I did in the end as it opened discourse and led to better and deeper things, but still...the better and deeper could have come without the green. But such is life. Such are relationships - they are worthwhile work.
I now also understand the color choice of green when describing this most toxic of emotions. It made me want to gag. It gave me a headache and it blurred my vision making that which I was seeing and trying to see a rancid hue. I prefer purples & pinks myself and will be trying to stay with those shades.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
